All the Things We Never Knew: Chasing the Chaos of Mental Illness, by Sheila Hamilton
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All the Things We Never Knew: Chasing the Chaos of Mental Illness, by Sheila Hamilton
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"A boldly beautiful page-turner about loving and losing someone with mental illness. I’ll be recommending this absorbing memoir for years to come." —Cheryl Strayed, best-selling author of WildEven as a reporter, Sheila Hamilton missed the signs as her husband David’s mental illness unfolded before her. By the time she had pieced together the puzzle, it was too late. Her once brilliant and passionate partner was dead within six weeks of a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, leaving his young daughter and wife without so much as a note to explain his actions, a plan to help them recover from their profound grief, or a solution for the hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt that they would inherit from him.All the Things We Never Knew takes readers on a breathtaking journey from David and Sheila’s romance through the last three months of their life together and into the year after his death. It details their unsettling spiral from ordinary life into the world of mental illness, examines the fragile line between reality and madness, and reveals the true power of love and forgiveness.
All the Things We Never Knew: Chasing the Chaos of Mental Illness, by Sheila Hamilton- Amazon Sales Rank: #59398 in Books
- Brand: Seal Press
- Published on: 2015-10-13
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x 1.03" w x 6.00" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 312 pages
Review "All the Things We Never Knew is a boldly beautiful page-turner about loving and losing someone with mental illness. With unblinking honesty and profound compassion, Sheila Hamilton brings us vividly into her confusion, sorrow, and ultimate healing. I’ll be recommending this absorbing memoir for years to come." —Cheryl Strayed, bestselling author of Wild“Highly recommended for anyone who wants to understand mental illness from a caregiver’s perspective and educate themselves on how to support loved ones who are afflicted.”—Library Journal"If you’ve ever asked the question 'Do I need help?' or 'Does my loved one need help?’ then read this book. Merging her gut-wrenching personal story with all-pro journalistic acumen, Sheila Hamilton gives us the who-what-where-when-why of mental illness and what you can do to get the help you need. Most of all, this book gives us permission not to go through hardship alone, no matter what crises we face."—Laura Munson, New York Times best-selling author of This Is Not The Story You Think It Is, and founder of Haven Writing Retreats"Sheila Hamilton's All The Things We Never Knew is one of the most candid, heart-wrenching, and deeply moving accounts of the wake of destruction caused by the suicide of a loved one. Her book reminds us of those we've lost to suicide. The book casts the dark shadow that is depression, then rises from such darkness, reminding us to 'Look to the living, love them, and hold on.' Finally, it gives survivors tremendous resolve to continue in their quest for prevention.”—Kevin Hines, mental health speaker, activist, and author of Cracked, Not Broken: Surviving and Thriving After a Suicide Attempt“Journalist Sheila Hamilton has written a bold and honest book that takes the stigma out of mental illness and explores the terrible and beautiful angles when a loved one suffers from bipolar disorder. Hamilton’s reporter’s eye and lover’s heart give us a valuable perspective on how the grip of this insidious disease can destroy families and lives . . . Hamilton’s story is not only a cautionary tale but another example of the resiliency within all of us, and our ability to make the choice to heal.”—Lee Woodruff, bestselling author of In an Instant and Perfectly Imperfect, and contributing reporter for CBS This Morning"All the Things We Never Knew is so beautiful, so raw, and so powerful. It is, in a word, spectacular, and Sheila Hamilton is so generous and brave to share this story with the rest of the world. Anyone who has struggled with mental illness—their own, their family members', their friends' (which is to say, all of us)—will come away from this deeply humane book feeling less alone.”—Kelly Williams Brown, bestselling author of Adulting"All the Things We Never Knew is an honest, compelling read that chronicles Sheila Hamilton’s personal story of what it’s like to live with and love a spouse with mental health challenges. Written well, accurately describing the depression and mania of what later becomes a bipolar diagnosis, she captures the struggle of piecing together biological, psychological, and environmental factors that ultimately lead to a hard but hopeful ending. It is one of those books you don’t want to put down. As a radio personality, it also turns out she has a gift for writing as well. In between each chapter is information or a nugget of wisdom Sheila found helpful in her healing journey. Put this on your reading list today and continue the conversation!"—Gina Firman Nikkel, President and CEO of the Foundation for Excellence in Mental Health Care"All the Things We Never Knew is the rare memoir that's as harrowing as it is heartwarming, and Sheila Hamilton is the rarest of writers—a disciplined reporter with a masterful understanding of the workings of the human heart. This extraordinary story, about the mystery and scars of mental illness, is sobering and compelling and simply unputdownable.”—Karen Karbo, bestselling author of The Gospel According to Coco Chanel and How Georgia Became O'Keefe
From the Author Tony Morrison said, "If there is a book you want to read, but it hasn't been written, you must write it." When my husband of ten years began showing distinct signs of agitation, depression, paranoia and confusion, I went to Powell's bookstore in Portland, Oregon to find a book written for caregivers of people with mental illness. I found nothing. Many books are written from the perspective of people suffering from mental health disorders. Very few are written for caregivers. I wrote the book I wanted to read.All the Things We Never Knew is part memoir, part mental health guide. Read the narrative first and skip the chapters for later reference. If you're in crisis, read the inserts first. The reported pieces contain crucial information for anyone attempting to navigate the mental health system.Cheryl Strayed, Laura Munson, Karen Karbo and many other writers whom I admire have heartily endorsed the book. I learned so much from reading their honest and beautiful memoirs. I hope All the Things We Never Knew opens your heart and arms you with the information and tools you need to take care of your own mental health.
About the Author Five-time Emmy winner Sheila Hamilton is the news director and morning show co-host at the top-rated rock station in the country, KINK-FM in Portland. She also serves as the public affairs director and hosts an award-winning weekend talk show. She is currently Portland’s #1 Radio Personality.Hamilton began her career as an Associate Producer for public broadcasting, and spent nearly two decades reporting, anchoring, and producing commercial television for ABC affiliates in Salt Lake City and Portland. She was recently voted Oregon’s Best Radio Personality. She writes cover stories for About Face magazine and serves on the board of Girls Inc., an organization empowering girls to be strong, smart, and bold, and of The Flawless Foundation, a mental health advocacy organization.
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Most helpful customer reviews
21 of 22 people found the following review helpful. Educational--for someone who works in mental health! By coastal I learned a lot from this book, and that is humbling and a bit scary as my job is to provide primary care to patients with serious mental illness. I work in a community mental health center, and most of my patients do not have the ability that the author's husband did, to function despite their illness. And, as a primary care physician, I have seen almost ubiquitous prescribing of anti-depressants, and considering how it harmed the author's husband, it's a significant wake up call. My patients are given "standard care" at the mental health center, and this book carefully presents how that care may be lacking.The author writes well and this book reads like a novel. She mentions "anosgnosia"--unawareness of illness and denial, and her husband, his family, co-workers and the author were unaware of his devastating bipolar illness until his rapid and fatal decline. Her willingness to share the details of their life, the impact of his illness and the combination of denial and unawareness create a powerful book. And an important book.Mental illness is not rare, but far too often we are unaware, and even clinicians like myself may recognize it in patients, but not in family members.The author also explored the genetic and environmental triggers and how they may impact her daughter.I feel as though this book should be required reading for medical students, residents and clinicians. We so often don't see or recognize bipolar illness in high functioning and compensating people, and as the author wrote, the treatment has become primarily medications and psychotherapy is absent from psychiatry training.I've watched my patients struggle and I've seen how "standard care" often doesn't serve them well. Reading this book, I gained a new understanding of bipolar illness, it's impact on families, the impact of suicide and some denial of my own.And easy read, and very important.I do agree that the author's insight and self-awareness are "in process", but her book helps others.
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful. Moving true story about a family in crisis dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder By Ismay1012 When I saw this book and read the synopsis on Netgalley I knew I would have to read it, whatever the personal cost. It took a heavy toll on me and taught me a whole heap of facts about the symptoms and treatments of different mental health problems, but especially bipolar disorder, formerly known as manic depression. I found the information profoundly interesting and hugely disturbing in almost equal measures but I could not stop reading this moving true story. The honesty of the writing, the suffering of the family and the patient, the attitudes of society and, at times the indifference of the health care officials, chilled me to the bone.Sheila Hamilton is a famous reporter. Her husband David ran his own business in the building sector. They have a much-loved daughter, Sophie, and were once very much in love. Time took its toll on their relationship as David was unfaithful to Sheila and his behaviour became distant and unpredictable. He would not admit that he had a problem and tried to control his alternate cycles of mania and depression through drugs given to him by a friend who was a medical practitioner. He hid important truths from his family and compulsively lied to cover his tracks. In all this time he was a devoted, though often forgetful father. His daughter was stabilising and he loved to spend time with her.Then he hit crisis point. He was out of control and suicidal and eventually he had to be hospitalised. It was a really heartbreaking time for both him and his family, but this crisis did have a result: a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Six weeks after his diagnosis he was released from hospital. That night he phoned many of his friends to obtain updates and lastly he phoned his wife Sheila. Then he drove off to a remote but familiar area and simply disappeared. His family was distraught and as time went by they accepted that he would not be found alive and sadly this turned out to be true: he had decided that he could not face the future despite having his family there to look after and support him. He ended his life with a gunshot wound to his head, leaving behind a huge mountain of debt and an incredulous and grieving family.Sheila Hamilton wrote this book after undertaking meticulous research into mental health issues, diagnosis, care and aftercare in the USA. She felt that it was her best way of answering the odious questions of Why? and What if? Her story is compelling, incredibly moving and beautifully written. It moved me to tears of frustration, sadness and empathy. Having a close relative that is struggling so profoundly with mental health problems is very frightening and also very difficult to contend with, especially considering the emotional attachment to the sufferer. Crisis care and support is needed urgently, and must be given by objective, professional caregivers. My heart went out to David and his family. That he should die in such turmoil and completely alone with his demons was totally unforgivable and unnecessary.I would like to thank Netgalley and Seal Press for my copy of ‘All The Things We Never Knew. Chasing the Chaos of Mental Illness’ sent in return for an honest and considered review. I had to take breaks from reading it, both to compose myself and to ponder over the content, but I feel very much the richer for reading Sheila’s story and more well informed about mental illness.
26 of 31 people found the following review helpful. A riveting book that is not nearly as self-reflective as it could be By Phyllis S., NYC I feel that this book is a well-intended effort to come to terms with a terrible trauma, the suicide of the author’s husband who suffered from bipolar disorder. There are many good accounts from the inside of people who have suffered from mood disorders. This is an account from the outside by a wife who readily says she was in denial about her husband’s illness for many years. It is the wife’s story in other words, not the story the husband might have told. He is viewed mostly from a distance, as Hamilton tries to understand what is wrong with him and with their marriage. I did get very much caught up in the narrative, wishing this family did not have to go through such awful loss.I feel there is a great hole in this book where reflection and self-examination could have deepened it. Perhaps understandably Sheila Hamilton is not prepared to go there yet? About halfway through the book, while her husband’s illness is becoming more severe she becomes involved with another man who is presented in idealized terms. He is pretty much flawless. When her husband is in the hospital with an acute psychotic break she is with this man on his boat and has taken her nine-year-old daughter along. It is understandable that she needs someone to lean on but she herself says it seems less than sensible to start a new relationship at this point. I feel the narrative suffers because the author doesn’t really delve very deeply into her own choices and psychological needs.Her idea that her husband might have pulled through if he had been able to reach for help strikes me as unprovable. I knew a severely depressed person who desperately reached for help again and again, but never recovered. You can get through depression if you have faith in someone's ability to pull you through? Maybe having such faith depends on the degree of illness? It is a complex illness. I do not mean to sound judgmental in regard to Ms. Hamilton. She tried to help her husband. She got dealt a very bad hand. She suffered greatly. But the parts of the book that deal with her new relationship were sometimes jarring. I wanted to know what she learned about herself as a result of what she went through.
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